Something for the V day

STORIES - The Secret of a Happy Marriage

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

They shared everything. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox at the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst into tears with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the other dolls."

---

And the bonus:

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas


The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman



"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison



"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran


"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous


You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman




My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield




A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle



Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous



First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Anonymous

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates <- This explains why we have all the above